This month of July is revealing full of little shocks for you. Just try not to insist on looking for a hidden meaning as you usually do, please. Because there isn´t, or anyway you will not get it now.
The kids are still at the sea, you find yourself alone in this boiling pot, finalizing the preparations for your departure on Friday. You should be methodical maybe, but you were not born that way. You compile lists which are condemned to be quickly lost or that, in the best case scenario, after two days you won´t even be able to read. As a consequence, you easily accept to do things the way of the dog´s dick.
Let´s see, then. First of all, the kids needs:
- Provisions for breakfast / lunch / dinner / snack / momentofsuddennostalgycauseitrainsit´scoldandhereeverybodyspeaksweird. Also here is crazy, because the three of them have signed a secret agreement (you are completely sure about this) so that there isn´t any dish, ANY, that the three of them would like at the same time. They may have an excel sheet somewhere with all the possible food combinations, and they have periodical secret meetings to update the preferences, making sure that it never matches for the three of them: “Maia, I´m sorry but from now on you have to give up the mussels. You will reject them pretending nausea.” “Oh no, I like them so much”. (She cries) “Sigh, poor myself”. “I know, dear sister, also I will not be able to eat pasta al pesto, which I love… but this is a sacrifice that needs to be done. You don´t wanna make Mum and Dad´s life easy, do you?”. (Looking at the sky with tears) “No, I would NEVER do that!” (They hug each other).
- Clothing that covers the delta between swimsuit+flip flops and winter jacket+boots. Delirium, specially since the older ones have started to grow by QUANTUM LEAPS. It could be possible that when they come back from the sea they can´t fit anymore in those clothes that were enormous one month ago. Not good though.
- Medicines. You grew up in the belief that Aspirine was a panacea for any type of sickness, and you still consider any other drug as efficient as the Bach flower remedies. But both pediatrician and doctors have turned down this conviction: you can´t simplify with the kids. And then again, aspirine is not good for the stomach. So there you go: red antipyretics, yellow anti-inflammatory, pink creams, blue eyewash. Then you won´t know what to do because you are too lazy to read the leaflet, and you will end up giving them an aspirine (“Believe me sweety, with this one the broken rib will be cured in a few days”).
- Books. Mmm. Buying books for the kids before a trip is one of those… joys of life. Let´s see: a nerd tale of science fiction for the oldest one, something comical and a bit feminist for the little one. And for Emma, but actually for all of you, inevitably this.
- Music. Many years of traveling with the kids have allowed you to discover the Secret of the Peace Within a Car: the radio dramas. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the most efficient way to entertain the kids is some sort of stuff for OLD PEOPLE. It´s not easy to find them in Italian, we don´t have the BBC here. You need to browse the whole internet and they often have a poor audio quality, but still they are able to literally hypnotize the creatures (and let´s admit it, also yourself). This year you have opted for: Blade Runner, Tex Willer; the biography of Bruce Lee (*You can never invite the wind, but you must leave the window open. YEAH); Belfagor the Phantom of the Louvre; and a pile of some others, including, directly from 1949, “Alberto Sordi speaking” (!). And then, well, there is the music. But you will tell in real-time about this.
- Movies. For the bad-weather-evenings sheltered in the van. It´s not easy to bring together the film taste of kids on such different ages. So you invest on the classics: the whole Miyazaki for Maia, whom anyway can watch anything; then Animal House, Point Break, the Big Lebowsky, Moonrise Kingdom, the Blues Brothers, the Goonies, Stand by me, The great Escape. And finally “I soliti ignoti”. In short, from Totoro to Totò, it´s peeeerrrrrrrfect I would say.
And now for you? The usual esacamotage of taking your oldest and most ruined clothes, so you have an excuse to throw them away? Diet of roots, insects and beer to save money? And then what would you do with those books, those movies with Shirley MacLaine with the green tights or Jack Nicholson with a broken nose, do you really think you will find some free time to (re)watch them? Pfffff. You better think about being concentrated on the road, the long road. And don´t get distracted by watching the Swedish girls.